What The Duck? Duck Dynasty Returns February 27th

 

Duck Dynasty Returns February 27th on A&E.
Duck Dynasty Returns February 27th on A&E.

I’m not a regular viewer of the numerous reality shows on cable TV that highlight the lives of the swamp people, Honey Boo Boo or some guy catching cat fish with his bare hands, but I do occasionally flip through the channels and the other day I landed on an interesting program. When I turned it on I saw a couple ZZ Top looking characters walking through the woods hunting for beaver. Evidently one of the guys was the patriarch of the Robertson family who have a multimillion dollar turkey call business in Louisiana. The show is your typical cable reality show which is less reality and more a scripted show with average to bad actors. It’s always clear that the situations and dialog have been punched up by a team of writers who are probably standing behind the camera. I found the show particularly interesting because I worked in a local turkey call place for over six years so I could sort of relate, although the place I worked at had considerably less facial hair and southern twang. If you are unfamiliar with what a duck or a deer call is I don’t blame you. When I first started working there¬† I had no idea what any of the stuff even was. I have never hunted nor do I have any interest in hunting which made it interesting when people at the place tried to have hunting conversations with me. Basically a hunting call is used in the woods to attract the duck, deer or whatever it is you are trying to shoot and kill. Sometimes the calls are made to sound like a sexy lady deer or turkey while others replicate the sound of a dying rabbit or something, which attracts coyotes and stuff. I would sit around all day building and blowing on the calls for quality assurance even though I had no idea how to use the silly things or how a sexy doe even sounded like in the first place. Hunters have a lot of tools in their bag which sometimes includes urine. Apparently when the sexy deer call isn’t attracting the deer you will have to take extreme measures. It turns out they sell little bottles of sexy female deer urine which evidently attracts big bucks over to you. They can’t resist the stuff. The hunter then puts some of the urine all over their gear like perfume and then wait in hiding for all the boy deers to come running. One time as a gag a guy I worked with thought it would be hilarious to spread this deer urine all over the place at work. The smell was as vile as you would expect aged deer urine to be.

If you are not a fan of murdering and eating animals such as squirrels, beavers and ducks then this show probably isn’t for you. If you are a blood thirsty carnivore like me then you will enjoy the show and all of the delicious meals they hunt, kill and eat. Each male cast member has a glorious beard and a southern belle of a wife which makes you wonder if growing a insanely long beard is the way to go in life. All in all I give the one and a half episodes I’ve watched¬† three stars and that means it is almost worth watching.

The show Duck Dynasty reminds me of my days at the Turkey call factory so I will probably watch when it returns for the third season on Monday February, 27th on A&E. Maybe one day if nothing else works out I can move down there and get me a job at their headquarters.